


When Kerch Met Vere (or, how Inej and Damen decided they were Done With This Shit)

by ladanse



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat, Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Gen, Humor, Inej & Damen Don't Deserve This Shit, M/M, Multi, Rivalry, Save them, Swearing, dramatic assholes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 21:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10172276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladanse/pseuds/ladanse
Summary: "Cheat," Kaz says, calmly, and wonders how he missed the stranger's sleight of hand. Something is growing in his chest; he would call it anticipation of a real challenge. Inej, he notes, would probably call it something like "recklessness" or "stupidity" or "Kaz, what the fuck are you thinking.""Was I cheating," says the stranger, "or were you?"It's a fair question. Jesper, immediately, moves to snatch the stranger's chips away; the dark one stands up, his bulk clearly meant to intimidate. Jesper's hand sneaks towards his pistols."It was a good game," says Kaz, shocking everyone but the man across from him. "You play well, Laurent of Vere."If the king is surprised that an inner-Ketterdam gangster knows his identity, he doesn't show it. "And the same to you, Kaz Rietveld. Now, shall we talk business?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> imagine that vere & kerch etc. are somehow close by.
> 
> this is complete trash, inspired mostly by me thinking "hey kaz and laurent are both dramatic af..... what if we put them in the sAME ROOM"

Kaz Brekker is on edge.

 

To most of the people who know him, it isn't apparent; he is sitting as coldly as is customary on the sidelines of the Crow Club, letting Jesper watch the card tables and Inej watch the bar, intimidating the Dregs and patrons alike with nothing more than his presence.

 

It is characteristic of Kaz that he is excruciatingly aware of this.

 

It is also, however, characteristic of Jesper that he is more concerned with teaching Wylan how to keep a steady poker face than counting the cards on the table; it is characteristic of Inej that she realizes that Kaz is more concerned about some new _nonsense_ than the smooth running of the Club, and so, is on edge herself. All in all, everyone is acting exactly as can be expected.

 

Then, the door opens.

 

This, in and of itself, is unremarkable. The group of four travellers who come through the door are also, generally, unremarkable; one is fair and white-blond, the next dark and hulking, the two behind him obviously military men. Nothing remarkable, except for the fact that strangers don't bother with the Crow Club.

 

Kaz sizes up the newcomers - subtly - along with the rest of the Club. His hand relaxes slightly on his cane.

 

Inej stares at the strangers - the blond one seems nearly Fjerdan - and watches Kaz relax. Kaz only relaxes when things matter; therefore, Inej knows to do what she does best. She disappears.

 

(She also counts all of her knives, twice, murmuring their names to herself, and prays to the Saints for strength. Kaz has the _scheming look_ on his face, and if these strangers explain his recent late-night trips, Inej is going to seriously consider offing herself just to escape the unnecessary stress.)

 

"Would you like a table?" Jesper asks the strangers, too-loudly. Wylan watches them narrowly. Matthias appears from somewhere beneath the woodworks of Club, pretending his hulking blonde frame is inconspicuous.

 

"That would be lovely, thank you," says the large dark one, with a gently lilting accent; Kerch is obviously not his native language. "Can we get a pint?"

 

"Sure," says whichever Dreg is at the bar, and pours a drink. Kaz hasn't looked up once; he's clearly waiting for them to come to him.

 

Inej, in the rafters, maps the route the blonde one - who is obviously in charge - will take in order to "stumble" over Kaz and the five-foot dead space around him, and settles in to wait.

 

*

 

Just as Kaz had predicted, it takes one hour and ten minutes for the strangers to make their way to the back of the club.

 

"Joining in?" asks the blonde one in perfect Kerch.

 

"I think I will," says Kaz, and the Club abruptly quiets. Jesper elbows Wylan in the side to knock the slack-jawed look off his face, and the rest of the Club hurriedly pretends to have very deep conversations over their card tables and ale mugs.

 

No one, least of all Kaz, is fooled.

 

The two set up a game of whips across their table. Jesper goes to deal the cards, and the dark one tenses, reaching forward, before the blonde lays his hand across his arm. Jesper deals the cards.

 

Kaz calmly bluffs his first hand, a suicide strategy, and waits to be called on it; as expected, the blonde's eyes flick toward the cards in Kaz's hand, sees the bluff, and lets it lie.

 

Kaz then tries cheating; with a neat ruffle of his fingers, his hand has been replaced by a better one. This time, the blonde doesn't notice; he simply takes another card and sets another chip on the table.

 

So it goes. Kaz carefully switches his cards out, making sure to keep count so he can't be caught. He folds, here and there, to keep up the suspicion of honesty. The chips jump back and forth as the night grows later, and the stranger remains cool and unruffled throughout.

 

"Lay down your hands," says Jesper, at the end of the last round. The stranger's lips quirk, just once, and Kaz wonders, almost idly, what he thinks he has, as he lays down the highest value hand in the deck.

 

Then, he blinks. The cards across the table from his are exactly the same.

 

"Cheat," he says, calmly, and wonders how he missed the stranger's sleight of hand. Something is growing in his chest; he would call it anticipation of a real challenge. Inej, he notes, would probably call it something like _recklessness_ or _stupidity_ or _Kaz, what the fuck are you thinking_.

 

"Was I cheating," says the stranger, "or were you?"

 

It's a fair question. Jesper, immediately, moves to snatch the stranger's chips away; the dark one stands up, his bulk clearly meant to intimidate. Jesper's hand sneaks towards his pistols.

 

"It was a good game," says Kaz, shocking everyone but the man across from him. "You play well, Laurent of Vere."

 

If the king is surprised that an inner-Ketterdam gangster knows his identity, he doesn't show it. "And the same to you, Kaz Rietveld."

 

Another surprise. Kaz runs his gloved hand over the R tattooed on his forearm. "Why are you here? This isn't exactly the Merchant Guild."

 

Laurent waves a hand. "Those fools were easy to buy out," he says, and the man next to him clearly tries to contain his surprise. Kaz and Laurent smirk in unison.

 

"So you came to me," prompts Kaz, and Laurent nods.

 

"The Dime Lions are old news," he says. "My sources directed me to the Dregs. To you."

 

"Flattery will get you nowhere," says Kaz, although he is pleased. "What do you want?"

 

"Grisha," replies Laurent, eyes glittering. "Also, a trade monopoly. Under the table, of course."

 

"I don't have Grisha. Or trade power."

 

"Don't you?"

 

"What I don't have, your Highness, is a reason to help you." Kaz leans back in his chair, lets his eyes just flick toward the ceiling. "Now, before my Wraith burns your skiff, docked at the fourth gate of Ketterdam Harbor, to the waterline, I suggest you collect your things and leave."

 

(Inej, from the rafters where she _thought_ she was supposed to be keeping watch, scrambles over the ceiling towards the door, praying the timbers don't creak, and curses the name of Kaz Brekker.)

 

"Ah, yes," says Laurent, calmly. He makes no move to leave. "That skiff."

 

Kaz's smile is crooked. "Yes. And your real skiff docked behind the prison."

 

"Mmm," agrees Laurent, still comfortably in his chair. "I suppose I'll be trapped here. Me, a King. I wonder if the Merchant Guild would take me in?"

 

"The Guild guards will arrest you before you get there," says Kaz. "Strangers are, after all, quite suspicious. Especially the ones that go straight to the Crow Club, without paying respects to Rollins first."

 

"Not if said newcomer was investigating rumors of Grisha trafficking," says Laurent. "It's common knowledge that you keep a Heartrender here. Less common, I suppose, that your right-hand is a Fabrikator." Jesper straightens, clenching his fists, and Wylan's hands twitch under the table.

 

"You think the pockets of the Dregs can't finance a decent bribe?"

 

"The coffers of Vere are deeper than 'decent.'" Laurent's smile is smug.

 

"And fear runs deeper than even greed," says Kaz. "Something I didn't realize until recently."

 

"You speak of your Wraith," says Laurent. "Why don't you introduce her? She doesn't need to stay on the ceiling."

 

Inej, from where she was ready to fly and threaten some guards, freezes. "A good idea," says Kaz. "Wraith?"

 

She lowers herself, apprehensive, and unsheaths two of her knives. "Hello," she says. The dark one next to the king smiles at her, and she bares her teeth in return. His smile grows broader, more genuine, and she likes him against her will.

 

"This is my Wraith, Inej Ghafa." ( _Your_ Wraith, right, thinks Inej. She's not bitter _at all_.) "This is Jesper Fahey, as you know, and Wylan Van Eck. And, my good Fjerdan soldier, Matthias." The giant blonde comes forward, and Kaz notes the clenching of Laurent's jaw with satisfaction. "Your mother's side was Fjerdan, was it not?"

 

"It was," says Laurent, calmly. He nods at Matthias, clearly forcing himself not to react. "Let me introduce my men, as well," he continues. "King Damianos of Akelios - " the hulking dark one nods and smiles again - "and my soldiers, Pallas and Jord."

 

Kaz cannot repress his flinch at the name. Laurent's smile is glittering and cold as ever. "Now," he says. "The Dregs need influence over the Guild." His eyes flick to Wylan. "I don't care for your reasons, but as a joint king of the most powerful alliance since Ravka and Fjerda's, hundreds of years ago, I can provide you that influence."

 

"If you can get out of here alive," says Kaz. "You are not among friends. I can get that influence from you for nothing in return."

 

"You claim to know the power of greed, and yet you think these men are with you?" Laurent gestures around the bar.

 

"I think that the wine I poisoned earlier shall be a good source of motivation." The Club moves uneasily, muttering.

 

"This wine?" says Laurent, holding an unopened bottle up for inspection. "The one I switched out?"

 

"No," says Kaz, "that was a bluff."

 

"This wine, then?" Laurent pulls out another bottle.

 

"Not wine, good King. Be creative."

 

"Mead, then?" Yet another bottle emerges from the folds of Laurent's cloak.

 

"There are many types of mead."

 

Laurent gestures, and with a long-suffering sigh, Damianos lays the entire stock of the Crow Club's mead on the table.

 

"There are many types of poison," says Kaz. Laurent opens his mouth to respond -

 

*

 

_Fifteen minutes later_

 

Someone gently taps Inej's shoulder, and she whirls around.

 

"Sorry," says King Damianos. "I didn't mean to startle you."

 

"Your Highness," says Inej, carefully. "It's no trouble." There aren't many who can sneak up on her.

 

"Please," says the King, rolling his eyes. "Call me Damen. You seem - " he glances at Kaz and Laurent, who are still whispering furiously.

 

"Normal?" suggests Inej.

 

He grins, teeth bright. "I was going to say sensible."

 

Inej lets her lips quirk. "Do you want to play whips?"

 

"I don't know how," Damen confesses.

 

"Then I'll teach you," she says, and sits him down at another table.

 

*

 

_One hour later_

 

"You will leave, you insolent fool," hisses Kaz.

 

"Not until you give me what I ask," says Laurent.

 

"Fold," says Damen. "Shit. You're good at that."

 

Inej laughs. "Your tell is when you look left," she says. "Try again."

 

"Actually," says Damen. "Can we spar? I've never fought knives before."

 

"Hmm," says Inej. "There's an idea."

 

*

 

_Two hours later_

 

The sky was growing lighter. Kaz and Laurent were, currently, staring each other down.

 

"Try raising your guard," says Damen. "I'm too tall for you to watch your legs, and my sword is too heavy."

 

"Fair point," says Inej. "Which trade routes do you two want, anyway?"

 

"Do you have a map?"

 

*

 

_Three hours later_

 

Kaz and Laurent had both gone out. No one knew where they had gone, because everyone had fallen asleep.

 

"I bet we could pressure the east docks," says Inej. "And I have Suli connections, so we could give you the roads."

 

"That works. How much trouble are the Zemini guilders?"

 

"Not much. If you - " Inej turns the map. "Just there."

 

"Oh," says Damen, "good idea."

 

*

 

_Two hours later_

 

Kaz steps into the back room of the club, Laurent next to him. Both wear identical expressions of smug satisfaction, which immediately fade when they find Damen and Inej leaning drowsily against the Veretian cohort's bags, packed and ready to leave.

 

Kaz flicks a dark eyebrow at Inej. Laurent raises a sharp eyebrow at Damen. Both eyebrows say, _what the fuck is going on here_.

 

Damen barely glances up, handing Inej a priceless Veretian whetstone. "Ah," he says. "The eyebrow. Yours does it as well?"

 

Inej takes the whetstone with grace, and begins sharpening her boot knife. "It would seem so," she says.

 

Kaz blinks. "We have reached an agreement. We will continue negotiations tomorrow," he tries, and waits for a reaction.

 

Inej uses her foot to push the map forward, marked out with a full and fair settlement.

 

"Actually, we're ready to leave," says Damen.

 

"What is this?" says Kaz.

 

Inej holds her knife up to Damen's assessing gaze. "Is this sharp enough?"

 

"Depends," says Damen, frowning. "Is it a stabby knife? Or a slashy one?"

 

Inej turns it over, watching the reflection of the metal. "Slashy."

 

"Damianos," says Laurent.

 

"Wraith," grits Kaz.

 

"Ah," notes Damen, idly. "Full names."

 

"We're in for it now," says Inej, sounding bored to tears.

 

"I don't think - " begins Laurent, but Damen learns up to kiss him, summarily shutting him up. "Just as we agreed, Inej," he says.

 

She just raises a hand in farewell. "See you around."

 

"Don't forget to send me that lash darkener."

 

"Who do you think I am?" They both laugh.

 

"Inej - " tries Kaz.

 

"It's all right," says Inej, soothing. "We took care of it," and leads him gently back to his room.

 

**Author's Note:**

> kudos feed me  
> comments save me  
> i beg  
> pls  
> thank


End file.
